Bullying at the club: what parents should do

The club should be the safest place in your child's week. Most of the time it is. But when a child starts inventing excuses not to go to the meeting, comes home quiet from camp, or loses their gear "by accident" every week, it's worth stopping to look closely. It may be nothing. It may be bullying.

Bullying is not a one-off fight or silly teasing between kids. It is repeated, intentional violence, with an imbalance of power — one or several against one who cannot defend themselves alone. And it doesn't happen only at school: it happens in the van, in the tent, in the unit's WhatsApp group, in the camporee locker room. The Pathfinder Club is an intense group environment, and a group environment is where bullying lives.

This guide is for you, mom or dad, to decide what to do calmly and firmly: how to recognize the signs, whom to tell inside the club, what the leadership is required to do, and when the matter becomes a matter for the law — because yes, there is a law, and it names clubs in so many words. Data verified on 07/22/2026 in the official sources listed at the end.

🚨How do I know if my child is being bullied at the club?

Children rarely come to you saying "I'm being bullied." They feel ashamed, afraid it will get worse, afraid of letting you down. What shows up are indirect signs — and your job is to read the signs before they grow.

Pay attention if your child:

• Used to be excited about the club and, all of a sudden, invents an excuse every week not to go.
• Comes back from the meeting or from camp quiet, irritable, or teary, unwilling to talk about what happened.
• Loses or damages gear often — scarf, cap, snack, canteen — with no explanation that adds up.
• Has a stomachache, headache, or trouble sleeping right the night before the meeting.
• Avoids talking about their unit mates, or talks about them with fear.
• Shows up with bruises, torn clothes, or nicknames that stuck and bother them.
• Changed around the phone: gets anxious when messages come in, or suddenly left the unit group.

No single sign proves bullying. A bad week happens to any child. What raises the alarm is the pattern that repeats and the child who shrinks.

It's worth telling bullying apart from ordinary conflict, because Brazilian law tells them apart. According to Law 13.185/2015, bullying (its technical name is systematic intimidation) has three marks together: it is repeated, it is intentional, and it happens within an imbalance of power — meaning the victim has no way to respond on equal footing, whether because it's one against several, or because the other is older, stronger, or more popular. A one-off argument between two friends that resolves the next day is not bullying. The humiliation that comes back every week is.

📖Does the law protect my child inside the club too?

It does. And this is the part most parents don't know: the anti-bullying law doesn't talk only about school. It names clubs.

Law No. 13.185, of November 6, 2015, created the Program to Combat Systematic Intimidation (Bullying). Article 5 says, in so many words, that it is the "duty of the educational establishment, of clubs and of recreational associations to ensure measures of awareness, prevention, diagnosis, and combat of violence and systematic intimidation (bullying)." A Pathfinder Club is exactly that: a club, an association. The duty to act is not a favor from the leadership — it is an obligation set out in law.

The same law lists eight forms of bullying, so no one can say "it only counts if you get hit": verbal, moral, sexual, social, psychological, physical, material, and virtual. That last one is cyberbullying — the humiliation that runs through the message group, the stories, the online games. At the club, cyberbullying often starts in the unit's WhatsApp group, and it is as serious as a shove.

Since 2024, the matter has become even more serious. Law No. 14.811, of January 12, 2024, turned bullying into a crime: it inserted Article 146-A into the Penal Code. For cyberbullying, the penalty reaches imprisonment of 2 to 4 years, and a fine, if the act does not constitute a more serious crime. This does not mean every bit of teasing will become a court case — it means the law now treats systematic intimidation as what it is: violence.

Above all of this stands the Statute of the Child and Adolescent (ECA, Law 8.069/1990). It says that "it is everyone's duty to safeguard the dignity of the child and adolescent" (art. 18) and to prevent any threat to their rights (art. 70). "Everyone" includes the counselor, the club director, and you. Keep this layer in mind: the written rule exists and it is strong. What varies — a great deal — is how each club puts it into practice.

🗣️Whom do I tell first? The path inside the club

Before going outside, give the club the chance to resolve it. In most cases, that's where the solution happens — and faster. But tell the right person, in the right order.

At the Pathfinder Club, your child belongs to a unit, a small group led by a counselor (the youth or adult directly responsible for that group). Above the unit is the club's leadership — the director and their associates. The natural path is this:

• Start with the unit counselor. They are closest to the day-to-day and usually see what you don't. Many situations are resolved in a frank conversation here.
• If it isn't resolved, or if it's serious, go to the club director. The leadership has the authority to investigate, talk with the families involved, and change routines (who's with whom in the tent, in the van, in the unit).
• Put it in writing. A message or a short email, with the date and what happened, is worth more than ten hallway conversations. Keep a copy. It's not to "make trouble" — it's so there's a record if the situation comes back.

Here comes the second layer, the one that changes from club to club: whoever decides how the case is handled is the club's leadership, within its own reality and the guidance of the church and the field (the Conference or Mission of your region). The Adventist Church does not publish a single, nationwide "anti-bullying step-by-step" for the clubs, so the how varies. The duty to act does not vary: it's the law's.

A piece of advice from someone who has seen this go off the rails: resist the temptation to expose the case on social media or in the parents' group. Besides possibly becoming another problem (a legal one, even), the post usually closes the doors to the conversation that would have solved it. Document, go to the leadership, and only escalate outward if the club fails.

Read alsoYour child's first camp: the parents' guide→

🛡️What should the club's leadership do?

When you bring the case to the leadership, you have the right to expect a stance — not evasion. Knowing what's expected helps you hold them to account clearly.

Leadership that takes it seriously:

• Welcomes without minimizing. The phrase "kids will be kids, it'll pass" is the opposite of what the law requires. It doesn't pass: without intervention, bullying tends to grow.
• Protects the victim first. Separating the one who intimidates from the one who is intimidated, reviewing tent and task pairings, making sure the child isn't left alone with the aggressor.
• Investigates both sides discreetly, without turning the child who suffered into "the one who snitched" in front of the group.
• Talks with both families. You, as the victim's parent, should be told what is being done. And the parents of the one who did it also need to be called in.
• Follows up with the one who did it — because punishing and releasing doesn't educate. The goal is to stop the behavior and restore the child, not to brand them.

There is an educational principle behind all of this, and it is the reason the club exists. The Pathfinder Club builds character: discipline, service, respect for others. Bullying is the denial of that from within. Leadership that looks the other way isn't being "nice" to the aggressor — it's failing both children at the same time.

And if what happened is serious — physical assault with injury, sexual content, a serious threat, heavy cyberbullying — the leadership should not handle it alone and in silence. The ECA (art. 13) requires that suspected mistreatment of a child be mandatorily reported to the Guardianship Council. In those cases, bringing in someone from outside is not a lack of faith in the club: it's obeying the law and protecting the child.

📞When the club doesn't resolve it: Guardianship Council, Disque 100, and police

You gave the club the chance and nothing changed? Or is the case too serious to stay in an internal conversation? Then it's time to use outside backing — and it exists, it's public, and it's your right.

Disque 100. It is the channel of the Ministry of Human Rights and Citizenship for reporting violations against children and adolescents. You dial 100 from any phone: it is free, anonymous, and works 24 hours a day, every day. The report gets a protocol number, and the case is forwarded to the right bodies — Guardianship Council, Public Prosecutor's Office, police stations. You can also report through the gov.br website, by form and by chat.

Guardianship Council. It is the body that exists in your city precisely to protect the rights of children and adolescents. You can go to it directly, without an intermediary, when you believe your child's right is being violated and the club did not act.

Police and police report. If there was a crime — bodily injury, threat, slander, or bullying/cyberbullying itself under the articles that Law 14.811/2024 created — filing a police report is a legitimate path. In cases involving minors, the Precinct for the Protection of Children and Adolescents (where it exists) is the most appropriate place.

A practical step that makes a difference in cyberbullying: save the evidence before it disappears. Screenshots of the messages, the comments, the stories, with the date and the name of whoever sent them. Don't delete, don't reply in the heat of the moment. Today's screenshot is tomorrow's evidence.

💬How do I talk with my child without making it worse?

The way you react to your child's first confession decides whether they'll keep telling you or shut down for good. Tread carefully.

What helps:

• Listen first, solve later. Let the child talk without interrupting and without judging. Just being heard already brings relief.
• Validate the feeling. "What they did to you is wrong, and I'm on your side" is worth more than any action plan in that minute.
• Make it clear that it's not their fault. No one asks to be humiliated. The child who is bullied often thinks they did something to deserve it — and they didn't.
• Agree on the next steps with them, not over their head. Explain what you're going to do and why, so it doesn't seem like you "told everything" behind their back.

What gets in the way, and is tempting:

• Telling them to "hit back" or "toughen up." That transfers to the child a problem that's for adults to solve, and can turn the victim into an aggressor — or put them in more danger.
• Minimizing ("what nonsense, just ignore it"). To you it's small; to them, it's their whole world.
• Exposing the child by telling the case in front of other people, or posting it. Shame makes everything worse.

The principle is simple: your child needs to know that, no matter what happened, they have a safe harbor in you. That certainty, on its own, is already half the protection.

🌱What if my child is the one doing the bullying?

It's the hardest conversation, and for that very reason the most important. At some point the call may be from the club's leadership saying that your child is the one intimidating another child. Breathe, and don't do two things: don't deny and don't blow up.

Don't deny. "My child wouldn't do that" closes the door to a correction there's still time to make. Every child is capable of a bad wrong — what defines their future is what the parents do with the mistake.

Don't blow up into violence. Hitting or humiliating at home to "teach them not to humiliate" teaches exactly the opposite. The child learns that whoever has more strength rules — which is the logic of bullying.

The path is firm and welcoming at the same time: make it clear that what happened is unacceptable and will stop, help the child understand the harm they caused (empathy is taught), agree on proportionate consequences, and walk alongside the club's leadership in the follow-up. Those who intimidate often carry pain of their own — they're imitating something they saw, or trying to belong the wrong way. Correcting with firm love protects your child too. A Pathfinder is shaped as much by what they learn to do as by what they learn never to repeat again.